


Sleepless Nights

by Vargynja



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Fae & Fairies, Fluff and Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vargynja/pseuds/Vargynja
Summary: After Shiro escaped a rogue Fae court he started running a small witch shop and lives a quiet life with his cat Black. Until a visit from the Queen of night Court telling him that Haggar has resurfaced forces him to confront the Fae world again.





	1. The Visit

There is a Fae in his shop.

Shiro could sense it in the backroom before he hears the doorbell ring. Visits from various supernatural beings are common but this time the magic that fills the small shop is powerful enough to make him consider just running out of the window. But this Fae could probably hunt him down in seconds. Instead he forces a deep breath, grounding himself and casting a protective spell before stepping in the shop. As Shiro slowly moves the curtain that separates the store and his small storage/office he can feel his arm itch in phantom pain. Usually Shiro knows he can protect himself but being in the same room with such a powerful being terrifies him. Not just the pure power of this being but just the though of meeting a Fae again makes him want to throw up.

He will never go back to being prisoner. After that year he would rather die than go back.

But this woman standing in front of him is so different from the rogue court who captured him. The magic that Galra used always felt contaminated like there was a layer of oil between the magic and rest of the world. Just a little too rotten and covered everything in darkness, a layer of ash had fallen in front of the sun.

This is the first time he feels pure Fae magic. Cool breeze carried a clean smell of forest and while the room felt darken than it should be in the middle of the day it's safe. Her protections created shadows all around, concealing them from the rest of the world. Part of him fears a trap, that this is just a trick to ease his mind and make him vulnerable. Still, it does make him breath easier, letting the quiet air calm him down.

Shiro knows he's openly staring as the woman walks around looking at shelves and occasionally glancing in his direction. Even though he doesn't enjoy being treated like a wild animal, Shiro could appreciate that the Fae woman gives him time to adjust and decide what to do. He still doesn't relax but he can calm down and push his initial nausea back down. The Galra aren't here to take him back.

But that doesn't mean she's not trouble. Not only is she Fae but with that much magic? She has to be royal.

”Can I help you with something?” Shiro asks eventually. He considers adding something along the lines of My Lady at the end but he's not willing to give her that yet. Even though he knows he's talking to a regal being doesn't mean he wants to bow down. The reason he eventually had to quit with the police was his lack of respect. Shiro had always been a bit rebellious and according to Matt, a sarcastic piece of shit, but after being enslaved it just got worse. His boss didn't appreciate his new inability to listen to orders and finally things just got to the point where he realized quitting for the best. Afraid or not, he's not giving up his pride.

The woman, who was just browsing his herbs, finally turns to face him. She has a bright smile and Shiro can't really do anything but stare in wonder. Her dark skin made the massive white hair look even brighter and her pink marks on her cheeks seemed to glow just a little. She was beautiful, there was no denying that. But more importantly, she looked kind.

”I'm Allura, Queen of the Night court. Pleased to meet you”, she offers a hand. He hesitated a second before he shook her hand with his prosthetic arm, his voice introducing himself covers the soft mechanic sounds. Mix of magic and technology, his arm worked better than anything humans could give. It was useful, Shiro couldn't argue that. Didn't stop him from hating it. Schooled calm stayed on the Queens face which mean that she probably knew about him enough to expect the magic in his arm. Worrying. He didn't want to be known by Fae royalty, no matter how young and sweet she might look.

”I understand this may be... hard for you to hear. But I'm here because of Haggar”.

”I haven't heard about her in years”. Shiro forces his face to remain blank. Just the name makes Shiro want to drop on the floor crying. How many nights has he woken up screaming because of her? He didn't want to hear about her and the desire to just tell this queen to leave and trust that she would... What? Keep running that twisted empire with Zarkon? They wanted more than some angry Faeries looking for power. Even though she's been underground for years doesn't mean she's not dangerous. And there must be a reason that Allura asks about her now. Just knowing she's out there is bad enough but if she's spreading her power? Shiro shivers at the thought.

"None of us have heard much during this time but there are signs that her and Zarkon are appearing again. Your store has customers from all around. Will you keep and eye out and tell me if you hear anything?"

She's not wrong. While Shiro's store is small, the clients vary from regular humans to werewolves and nymphs. Zarkon and Haggar scare a lot of people and any news of her should make it here eventually. Will it be soon enough? If Haggar is on the move and the Fae know, something must have happened already. What signs have the Fae already noticed?

Fuck.

”Is this about the murders?” He asks. The queen looks surprised but nods.

Shiro had suspected that there was something supernatural behind some resent murders in his city. The police haven't found any real leads and Shiro hasn't been invested in it, mostly hearing scraps from his friends. Mostly it sounded demonic or like a witch who got way over their head.

”I'll look into it” Shiro said. The Fae smiled.

”Thank you. If you find anything you can come to the North Grove yourself or just send a message.”

And with that she was gone.

 

_Haggar is back._ Shiro ran to set the closed sign over the door before rushing to the backroom and falling on his knees _Purple magic felt like electricity on his skin making him scream in pain_ Does she want him back _You're mine now_ Shiro couldn't breath, his arm was lighting up making the room glow with purple light

_Her hands cracked with purple energy strong enough to be visible to human eye. Shiro was crying, this part always hurt so much but she didn't pay attention as she cuts through his skin and muscle to examine his body. Shiro is still screaming but Haggar doesn't care as she uses her magic to figure out how his body really works, making notes and mumbling to herself every once in a while. He tried to fight but moving hurts too much he wants to stop this why is Haggar playing like this he can't he move he just wants the pain to_

_”Stop!” There's a flash of purple light and it sounds like a lightning cracking and suddenly Haggar is laying on the other side of the room and there is still a gaping wound in his side but this is his chance he has to run. He gasps as when he falls on the ground._

_”Well this is interesting” Haggar sounds... happy. Shiro tries to get up but his body isn't working and Haggar is back on his side, talking but Shiro can't hear anything over the ringing in his ears and everything is just too much_

Shiro flinches back when he feels something touching his arm.

Black. The cat pushes her head on his arm, purring loudly. Shiro lets out a shaking exhale and reached to pet the cat. He lets Black climb on his lap and tries to calm his breathing. He was still safe in his shop. But he can't ignore the voice in his head.

_Haggar is back_


	2. The Crow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang appears and help Shiro with the mystery.

There was a crow following him.

It was Pidge that pointed it out.

”You do know that bird's been there since you came?”, they pointed at the crow sitting outside Keith's apartment. It was perched on a branch where it had landed when Shiro had walked in.

At first Shiro figured it was just a coincidence. It wasn't unusual to have birds near his store, there was some kind of draw that made them hang around witches. He was used to seeing the familiars of his customers for a while after they visit. But it was unsettling to notice it everywhere he went. And more so since it started after the Fae Queens visit. But there wasn't much he could do about it so the bird remained, silently tracking him. Not looking directly or seemingly paying attention to him but always present. Shiro ignored it and pretended that it was normal. No need to make his friends worried after all.

”Yeah, it happens sometimes. It's probably gonna find a witch looking for a familiar and leave soon”.

”Whatever. Still creepy”, Pidge says before focusing on the report they were reading.

Shiro had spent his weekend with Keith and Pidge who offered more information about the recent serial killer. They worked on the case together with Lance and Hunk so Shiro could jump in without too many problems. He used to work as a cop so he could probably talk himself in anyway but with his friends he didn't have to ignore the oblivious supernatural elements.

Keith was a half fae and even though he didn't have magic of his own he could see through the illusions and knew more than anyone about Shiro's disappearence. After Shiro's return they agreed to tell the others everything they knew.

Lance had turned out to be quite intuitive and sharp, even though he hadn't known about any of this before Shiro told him he could pick up on subtle hints if someone was not who they said they were. Pidge and Hunk had endless questions but they were surprisingly quick to accept. Shiro supposes that having a colleague disappear and come back after a year with countless scars and one inhuman prosthetic would help convince most people. They were scientists after all, both open-minded enough to accept what they saw.

 

He was walking to work when Keith called him to tell about a body that was just found. The crow flying above him croaked and turned to follow him as Shiro jogged to meet Keith who was waiting for him nearby.

”It's not pretty”

They turned around the corner where Lance and Hunk were talking. Hunk looked like he wanted to puke and Lance wasn't much better. Shiro wasn't sure why a guy who hated the sight of blood would willingly work with dead bodies but he could respect Hunks bravery. He'd rather be with good guys who complain than people who don't mind seeing gruesome murders.

Keith was right, it wasn't pretty.

The woman was laying in a pool of blood. There was a hole in her chest and once Shiro looked closer he could see that her heart was ripped out. Her eyes were missing and parts of her ribs were visible, jagged edges of broken bones pointing out. There were symbols drawn with her blood, some on her body and a neat circle drawn on the ground around her.

”Alchemy” Shiro muttered as he knelt next to the body. Lance perked up.

”So it is magic. What do you think, is this just a crazy witch?” he asked.

”Not human. Most of us can bend or push energy but this is something actively changing what already exists”, he explained.

”Like turning base metals to gold. People have tried but it's not actually possible, right?” Hunk asked. Shiro nodded. Many creatures try to play with alchemy but as far as he knew only higher Fae and demons have any chance at success.

At first Shiro had thought magic was complicated. Suddenly there was colorful energy all around but he didn't know what he could do about it. It took time to figure out how to push and pull and what tools helped but there were limits. Shiro could see the energy flowing in the world and with some help nudge it in the direction he wanted but it would take a lot to change something that's already solid. A scary amount of will and raw life force.

He hadn't really doubted that Haggar was behind the murders but now Shiro was sure.

”You know what did this”, Keith said behind him.

”Yeah, I have a guess. But I'm gonna take a look”.

Shiro activated his arm, feeling the energy flowing through him. Lance moved out of the way, letting Shiro place the hand on the woman's forehead. Shiro closed his eyes.

 

Purple. At first all he can sense is what's still left of magic used here. Shiro recognized what he already knew, the familiar magic filling his senses. Like his, Haggars magic left purple marks, sparkles still in the air creating static. Shiro grimaces at the oily cover that taints the magic. The air is thick and it was hard to breath in the tainted air that smelled like death, even more than the physical murder scene.

Shiro could still see the body through the purple mist. He was surprised to notice the crow landing near him, black eyes now looking right at him.

He stands up, letting go of the woman and moving to looks at the symbols which were now illuminated. The purple neon glow wasn't bright but still visible, showing patterns that he hadn't noticed before. He couldn't recognize most of them but some had such strong intent that he could still figure out what Haggar was after.

A distant part of Shiro felt horror but the veil of magic, both his and Haggar's, was enough to distance the emotion and focus on understanding. Really, he should have guessed it before. Haggar was a scientist in love with power, while Zarkon was looking for an empire she wanted to learn. This must be why he was captured in the first place, to understand human physiology well enough to change it.

Turn metals to gold, turn human into fae. Maybe the alchemy humans tried wasn't filled with pure intentions but the Fae weren't any better.

But she'd failed again. He needs to ask about the other victims, see if they were all human. If Zarkon and Haggar wanted to rule, was this their empire? Mutilated people made into fae. Or was it practice to improve the Fae, Shiro couldn't be sure. But she wanted something that was immune to the core limits of the fae.

He needed to learn more.

~~_Shiro_ ~~

He shook off the distraction.

There was something on her torso. Shiro moved to look at the woman's stomach. No, her womb. Cut open, causing most of the blood on the ground.

_Shiro_

Why? What was Haggar after? He moved again, trying to see the bigger picture.

The crows feathers rustled as it flew towards Shiro, making him jerk back to avoid having his eyes clawed out. It's caw mixed in Lance's voice.

”Shiro!” He jumped up when something wet hit him in the face, almost falling back before Hunk and Keith balance him. Lance is holding a water bottle which contents are now dripping down Shiro's face.

”What the fuck, don't do shit like that”, Keith growls. His angry tone clashed with the gentle way he supported Shiro who was still swaying. He let his arm quiet down and tried to focus his gaze.

”Are you okay? You didn't respond to anything we did, it scared us”, Hunk asked.

Shiro was tired but he gently pushed Keith and Hunk away to stand on his own. It didn't usually feel like this but he had gone deeper than before. Shiro hadn't even realized how far in his head he had been. Now his head was pounding. Shiro looked around to see the crow. It had backed off, sitting on a rooftop.

”Sorry, didn't realize how deep I was. But I'm fine”, he wasn't sure if he would be hadn't the others been there, ”though I could use a nap. I'm gonna head home but I'll call you later”. Lance frowned but nodded.

”I'll walk you”, Keith offered. Shiro didn't bother to argue, nothing would change Keith's mind. Besides, he might need something to ground him.

Shiro was grateful that the others didn't ask anything. Hunk gave him a quick hug before diving back to work.

They walked for a while before Keith broke the silence.

”You found something, didn't you?”

”It's Haggar” Shiro had meant to soften it but the words escaped. Keith stopped on his tracks, turning to face him. For a second Keith looked like he was going to say something but instead he just pulled Shiro to a hug. He jumped a little, usually Keith didn't touch much but after the surprise he leaned into it.

”I'm not gonna let her hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! This took longer since I don't have much time to write but finally got around to update.


	3. Black and purple

Shiro had been in astral plane only a few times before and even that had been a quick visit before he fell to regular sleep. He could recognize the familiar purple glow and weightless feeling and expected to fall off again. But this time he felt something pull him in and ground him in place. Well, as much as you can be grounded on space. 

That's what it was, all around him. Space. Deep purple and black stretching out till infinity and millions of starts surrounded Shiro. The air was still and quiet and for a second Shiro closed his eyes and just enjoyed the peace. There was a soft hum of magic and Shiro wasn't sure if it was inside of him or from this vast space he was standing in but for the first time in a long time he felt safe. 

Shiro opened his eyes when he heard something move next to him, arm activated before he even realized it and found himself face to face with a lion. He jumped back with a surprised cry but the cat didn't move after him.

Black lioness sat down in front of him and Shiro could swear she looked amused when her bright yellow eyes flicked at his fighting stance. Even sitting down it was as tall as Shiro and he could swear her eyes actually glowed with yellow light. Still, there was something familiar about the animal and Shiro relaxed again. 

”Black?” The only visible reaction from the lion was a slow blink but Shiro felt some confirmation in the back of his head. Like a thought he couldn't quite recall anymore but that he knew had been there. He wasn't necessarily surprised, Black had never been that normal and in this spiritual plane she could be herself in a way that his own world wouldn't allow. The massive lioness felt more fitting for her than the regular cat she usually looked like. The familiar energy was comforting and Shiro was glad she was there when Allura appeared. 

She stepped out of the air like she belonged here, confidence momentarily wavering when she noticed Black. She wore a blue dress and a tiara that had been on her forehead the first time they met. Now the pink marks on her cheeks seemed to glow like Black's eyes, not as bright but enough to make Shiro stare. 

”Hello Shiro”. Allura greeted him with a polite nod but her attention was on Black. The lioness sat still, yellow eyes following her movement. Allura seemed to hesitate when she slowly curtsied before turning her attention back to Shiro. 

”You called me here?” She tilted her head, waiting for news. Shiro frowned, confused before he saw Black turn to look at him. It was his partially unintentional magic that had brought him and called Allura but somehow Black was giving him a steady stream of magic and balanced it enough to keep everything stable. Now he could sense the river of magic pulsing in the air and mixing with his own intentions. 

”Haggar killed another person. I went to see the body”. Shiro explained everything he saw, leaving out the part where he got lost in the magic. Allura had a steely determination but Shiro could see how she tensed as he described the murder scene. 

”You're right, whatever she's doing is about growing their empire”, Allura said once Shiro finished. 

”What do you think she's doing? Can it work?” 

”Does it matter?” Allura said harshly, ”Maybe Haggar's turning humans, adults or their children. Maybe she's turning Galra into monsters. Either way the sooner we can stop her the better. Are you going to help me do that?”. Shiro wasn't sure what to say. Did he really have a choice?

They both jolted when Black suddenly growled and jumped over them. She swatted the air and the crow that neither of them had noticed flew back to avoid her massive paw. It disappeared into the air, leaving the lion growling in frustration and pacing around them. She leaped and vanished behind the crow. 

”Could you call your pet away?” Shiro asked. He didn't like the bird to begin with and he trusted Black's judgement. 

Allura's hands lit up with teal magic and she moved towards Shiro. 

”It's not mine. You have to wake up now”, she said urgently as she placed her hand on his forehead.

 

Shiro bolted up in his room, on his feet and arm activated. In the dark room a familiar red eye stands out. Shiro feels the blood rushing in his body as he freezes to face the large Fae. Sendak smiles and for a moment Shiro thinks of the Cheshire cat disappearing until only his eyes and sharp teeth laugh at Alice. In the dark room the glowing eye and sharp teeth stand out making his heart race. 

”Get out”, Shiro growls. 

”Is that how you talk to an old friend?”, Sendak is still smiling, ”You could just come with me. Haggar would be pleased to have you back, Champion. Imagine the empire we could build.” 

”Get. Out” Shiro wasn't afraid anymore. He knew Sendak and the hatred was pushing out everything else. He had cheered when Shiro was fighting for his life in Zarkon's little gladiator-game and would later break his bones as a punishment if he didn't kill his opponent. Haggar ruined him but the arena, Zarkon and Sendak made him into the champion. Into a monster. 

They had forced him to fight and now he'd make them pay for it. 

Slowly Shiro moved forward, studying the Fae. He'd gotted a new arm but Shiro had always been fast. The arm, like Sendak himself, was too big to be quick enough. 

”Or I can just kill you and bring your head to Haggar”, Sendak had seen the change and his arm lighted up with the same purple glow that Shiro had.

Shiro was the first to attack, quickly jumping at Sendak and hitting him in the stomach and rolling off before he could respond. Surprisingly fast Sendak came after him and Shiro barely had time to avoid the punch. Now that he realized Shiro wouldn't surrender without a fight Sendak became quiet and serious. Shiro knew it wouldn't be easy to survive but what other choice was there? Run and he would follow, eventually some innocent human would get hurt. 

Using his desk Shiro jumped again but this time Sendak was prepared and tried to catch Shiro mid-air. He had to dodge and land roughly on the floor, up just in time to face Sendak's hit. 

It felt like to whole room shook with the impact when their fists collided. Shiro grunted and his shoulder hurt but he held enough to jump and roll behind Sendak. The prosthetic arm was fine but from the point where it connected to his arm all the way to his shoulder blade pulsed. He got up and tried to move back when Sendak grabbed Shiro and threw him on his back. Before he could escape Sendak was on him, hitting him with enough force to make his head ring. 

His mind blanked. 

He blocked Sendak's punch, barely registering the ache that it caused in his arm. Using his left arm he grabs Sendak's arm and the heat of his hand burns. He uses struggling Sendak to pull him up and with his right arm hits him in the face. Like a dog he hangs on Sendak's burning arm, using his other hand to hit him. 

Sendak is scared now, he can sense it. All he sees is the enemy and even when Sendak throws him against the wall he can't feel the pain and is back, never giving him time to back up.

There was someone else in the room now, blue light and quick movement. He bares a second to consider before deciding that the figure wasn't after him so it can wait. Attention back on him Shiro hits with his left arm, the smell of burning flesh makes him smile. 

Sendak sends him flying across the room and moves to the window. Shiro tries to push after him but something is blocking his way. He struggles to chase Sendak who jumps out disappearing into the night but the figure forces him against the wall and holds him there. 

”Shiro you need to calm down”, a gentle voice feels contradictory to the strong grip on his shoulders. Shiro closes his eyes and stops pushing. As the anger leaves his just tired but when he opens his eyes again he can focus on the bright blue eyes. Allura is on her knees in front of him. 

He blinks and tries to focus on his body, the room, Allura, anything to ground him. He's panting hard, heart pounding and hands shaking. Allura stays there, steady and calm. She's talking, empty words he can listen to. 

”You're okay, just breath” she's about to let go but without thinking Shiro reaches for her hand and holds it in place. It surprised them both but Allura relaxed and kept stroking Shiro's arm. Slowly Shiro could relax enough to focus better. The room was a mess and now that he could think again the pain started to press. And shame. 

Being Champion was how he survived in the arena but he wasn't that anymore. Shiro didn't want to lose himself like that again. 

Shiro cleared his throat and Allura looked at him. Her white hair was on a bun but strands still framed her face. He didn't know what to say, how to explain what happened. But Allura seemed to understand as she just nodded and offered a quick smile. 

”Shiro, I'm sorry. I should have realized how dangerous this would be for you”, she said as she pulled him up. Shiro grimaced as his ribs protested the movement. It was strange to see Allura worried. Not only a Fae but a queen was now examining his face and apologizing. Her hands were warm and Shiro closed his eyes letting her go through his bruises. 

But even though she was so unlike the galra that Shiro could like her, already liked her, he still jumped alarmed when he felt a touch of magic. Instantly she backed off, giving him space. 

”If you want to leave I understand. You're not obligated to help me fight but I could heal you. Or Coran would do better if you'd come to my court”.

Shiro sighed. He could leave like everyone seemed to think he should. Just move for a while and let others take care of Haggar and move on with his life. It should be tempting to leave the past and his problems behind and finally move on. 

But it wasn't. Not only would it feel like losing if he'd let her drive him away but he knew how dangerous they were. Shiro couldn't leave after seeing the bodies and live with himself if someone else got hurt when he could have fought to help. He had to face Haggar or he'd spend the rest of his life jumping at shadows. 

”I'll help you. We'll stop them for good together”. Allura smiled and despite everything, Shiro couldn't help but to smile back.


	4. The Night Court

”You're going where?” Keith isn't raising his voice but somehow it's worse than just yelling. 

”The Night court. With the Fae queen i told you about”, Shiro sighs. Allura is standing next to him, impatiently tapping on her staff. Neither of them believed that Sendak would come back but she still glanced at the window occasionally with a worried expression. Shiro had told her that he would come only after telling Keith and thankfully she didn't argue, just told him to be fast. Not that Shiro would have wanted to linger anyway when just breathing hurt and he fears he might actually pass out when he has to rise from the broken bed he had slumped to call Keith. 

There wasn't a chance that Shiro wouldn't call though. He left Keith once without notice and there was no way in hell he would go missing again. Shiro remembers the look in Keith's eyes when he saw Shiro after a year of silence. If there is anything Shiro can do to make him worry less he would. Keith is like a brother and he deserves to know why Shiro might not answer for a few days and he knew Keith and his friends would come to help him if something were to happen in the Night court. 

He's starting to regret it now.

”Yes I got that just – are you insane? You can't just trust her because she supposedly has the same enemy!”

Allura raises one eyebrow. She looks more amused than insulted but Shiro still winces. He can't fault Keith for being worried but still. 

”She did just save my life”. Keith just groans in response. Shiro could remind him of all the reckless stunts Keith does daily that drive Shiro insane but he figures that might be a bad move. Keith has a magical skill to pull off any impulsive decision, while Shiro's own record isn't as impressive. So he waits for Keith to simmer in silence. 

”You're going no matter what I say aren't you?” Keith sighed after a pause. Shiro let out a small laugh. Not a great idea, he figures and leans forward holding in a gasp. Allura glances at him frowning but Shiro can make his voice steady when he answers Keith. No need to make him more worried. 

”Yeah. My phone probably won't work there but I'll come by in a few days. Don't worry about me”. Keith snorted. 

”When do I ever. Just be careful and if I don't hear about you soon I'll come to drag your sorry ass back home myself”. 

"That's what I'm counting for".

Allura walked from the window when Shiro ended the call. 

”Shall we go?” She offered him a hand and pulled Shiro up, supporting him. It was strange to lean on her small frame but Allura didn't seem to have any issues with his weight. She was still waiting for his reply. 

For a second Shiro hesitated before nodding and letting her magic surround them. Warm air hummed softly and teal light blinds him until all he can see is swirling colors and Allura standing steadily in front of him, still as a rock in a stormy sea. Her white hair flowed with wind and blended in the light reflecting the blue energy shining around them but Shiro's gaze was drawn to her serene face. The pink marks on her cheeks and her blue eyes glowed softly against dark skin. 

Before Shiro could blurt out anything stupid about how beautiful she was they landed. Allura stepped to earth with practice, leaving Shiro stumbling and almost falling over. 

Magic is natural to many species but the Fae live and breath. Unlike humans, who need something to focus and amplify their power they have a natural ease to it. Allura called her magic without help and used it with practiced confidence. She knew what she wanted, how to do it and never doubted if she could. Shiro had spent the last year trying and failing and trying again until it worked so it was fascinating to see Allura work. Shiro wasn't exactly shocked when Allura started moving without missing a beat and he felt like his stomach was going to climb up his throat. 

Shiro caught up with Allura who had stopped to wait for him to settle. Shiro couldn't see much through the darkness but they were in a grove with thick trees surrounding them. Allura took his arm and pulled him to the edge of the clearing in front of an old oak. It's massive branches formed an elaborate gateway.

”Welcome to the Night court, Shiro”, she grinned proudly as she gently pushed him through it. 

Shiro had always loved stars and night skies. As a kid he would sneak out to the roof in the night to watch them and for a while he dreamed of being an astronaut so that he could be surrounded by space. He could never explain what it was that made love the sky so much but something in the vast expanse of space made him feel at home. It was timeless and constant, no matter what happened to him stars would still shine and moonlight would show the world in softer way. In cold nights he could lay in the snow and imagine flying up there, free and fast. 

That's how he felt when he watched the sky in here. At home, free and all worried forgotten. The stars were bright and it felt like he was surrounded by them, so close that if he'd just reach up he could pluck them out of the sky. Moonlight illuminated the scene in front of them and once Shiro teared his gaze away from the sky he noticed a castle on a hill above them. 

It wasn't a massive palace but in the middle of the dark forest it was an impressive sight. The white castle had multiple tall towers that reflected the soft glow of the moon, making it shine in the darkness. 

”It's beautiful”, Shiro whispered in awe. Allura smiled softly at him. 

”Let's get you inside so Coran can fix you up”.

 

The castle was empty. At first Shiro just stares in awe at the white walls and beautiful blue decorations all around. Picturing the Night court he was expecting something dark and cold but it felt like the walls reflected moonlight that illuminated the massive rooms. As they travel through hallways he starts to question the silence. Their steps echo but he can't hear anyone else moving. He supposes that they could be hiding from him but why would they? Besides, surely Allura didn't plan on bringing him back when she left. 

Did she? 

He trusted her and there hadn't been any reason not to but what if Keith was right? Shiro felt his heart pounding, suddenly aware of how vulnerable he was. He wasn't bleeding but each breath hurt in his ribs and he could feel a bruise forming in his face. And given how much Sendak threw him around he wouldn't be surprised if the ache in his stomach was more than just bruises and burns. 

He would not be able to fight if something happened. 

Allura must have sensed something because she stopped to look at him with worried expression. 

”Shiro?” He forced his breathing to slow down. Allura wouldn't hurt him, Shiro had to believe that. He couldn't let Haggar define his thought and feelings like this, making him question everyone and jump at shadows. He refused to be broken like that. They could hit him, chain him and pull him apart but he would not let that define who he was and who he trusted. 

”I'm fine”, Shiro's voice came out raw. 

Allura didn't believe him, Shiro could see that, but she didn't argue. Maybe just because they were now facing a big door that Allura pushed open revealing a man Shiro assumed was Coran working on some piece of metal. He instantly jumped up to greet them and Shiro stood frozen as the man with huge orange mustache stopped in front of them. 

”Princess, you're back! And with a guest I see”, he leaned close to study Shiro, who resisted the urge to lean back under the intense stare. Coran must have noticed his grimace and the way Allura supports him because as Allura starts to talk he already pulls Shiro and seats him on a table. 

”This is Shiro, Sendak attacked him. Can you heal him?”. Coran was going through drawers, pulling out jars and bandages. 

”Of course Princess, tell me what happened”, The last part was aimed at Shiro who felt like a deer in headlights, frozen in place. Allura started talking and Shiro was grateful that she gave a clean version that left out the embarrassing details. Coran listened carefully and offered Shiro a small cup of hot drink. 

”It helps with pain”, Coran was twisting his mustache and frowning as Allura finished. Shiro tried a small sip of the drink. He couldn't place the taste but it wasn't bad, spicy enough to make his mouth burn but not entirely unpleasant. 

”Let's begin shall we. Would you rather have Allura here with us as I heal or have some privacy?” Shiro was about to tell Allura that she can stay if she wants but Coran's serious expression makes him consider. He didn't want her to see him without a shirt, which was bound to happen. It was stupid but the idea that she would see all the scars on his body, the ugly and raw issue where the prosthetic connected to his shoulder made him uncomfortable. Most days Shiro avoided mirrors and he spent the entire summer in long sleeved shirts. Lance had once mentioned that scars are cool but Shiro doubted that anyone would like to see the jagged edges mapping his skin. 

”I'd rather you waited outside”, he decided. Allura nodded. 

”I'll be close if you need anything”, she said with a reassuring smile as she slipped out and closed the door. Shiro wished she could have stayed but she's already seen him in pain and... after Sendak's fight. It was better to just get through this alone to avoid more shame.

”Where should we start?” Coran asked. Shiro knew he should go from the worst ones, either broken ribs or the strange sharp pain on his right side where Sendak had hit him. If Coran got tired before they finished it didn't matter if there were some bruises left unattended. 

”Face.” He could bare the pain for a while longer. Just enough to pull it together and slow down his beating heart. The Fae just nodded and sat on a stool in front of him. The blue marks on his cheeks lit up and Shiro saw similar blue hue around his hands as Coran leaned to touch his jaw. It was warm but other than that Shiro couldn't feel much difference at first. 

”You were quite brave tonight”, he startles when Coran speaks. 

”I didn't have much choice” 

”That doesn't make it any less difficult”. Shiro frowned. He didn't think fighting Sendak was impressive in any way. Coran said it in a tone that made Shiro wonder if he knew more about him. Had Allura talked about Shiro? 

"Why did you call her Princess? Isn't Allura a queen", he asks instead of commenting. 

"Hmm, yes. It's an old habit and she doesn't mind it. Things changed rather fast around here". There is a faint linger of sad purple in his magic before Coran shakes his head and focuses again. Shiro doesn't press any further so they sit in silence until Coran is finished with his face. 

”Shall we move on?” Coran explains what he wants to do. Examine the damage, make sure that there wasn't magic involved that might poison him later. Heal and leave a salve under bandages. Simple and clinical. 

Closing his eyes Shiro pulls away his dirty shirt and lays down on the table, action that makes him wince in pain despite the relief that Coran's tea had offered. Now he was grateful for the pain that forced him to be present. Shiro focused on it, feeling the ache pulse in time with his heartbeat and picking apart the difference. His left side had been hurt when Sendak threw him across the room and it's sharp sting was the most painful. The dull ache in his muscles was familiar, like on some days when he couldn't sleep and would exercise until he reached this faint feeling where he could fall into bed and finally sleep without dreams. 

As Coran worked the pain got less and less intense until Shiro couldn't rely on it to distract him anymore. The table was cold against his bare back and he could almost feel ties around his arms. 

It's not real. 

Haggar's hands pressing him down with impossible strength when he tries to trash free. Cold voice telling him to be still, that he really doesn't want her to miss. 

Shiro wasn't sure if Coran pulled away even before he sits up, violent movement making him groan in pain. 

”Just breath, you're alright”, Coran has given him space and with a start Shiro realizes his arm is active and the edge of the table is bending and burning in his grip. 

”Sorry”, he lets go with an embarrassed sigh. Coran just shakes his head, sitting back down. 

”No need to apologize, I should have checked up on you sooner. Is it easier if you sit up?” Shiro nodded, but Coran didn't move to continue. 

”You can tell me to stop any time. I don't wish to hurt you more, but we're almost ready. I assume you don't want to be sedated?” The thought made Shiro freeze and Coran nodded.

”We can keep going now” Shiro said and added quietly, ”Thank you”. 

"Did you know that Haggar used to be part of our court?" Shiro did not. He wasn't what he thought but this was a surprise. Coran continued when he saw Shiro's expression, "Her and Zarkon fell in love and corrupted each other until it reached the point where they went rogue. Thing got quite messy after that, blood was spilled before we drove them under. Zarkon killed Allura's father. It pains us all to see them back". 

"I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how painful it is" Coran sighs, shaking his head. 

"I believe you might know better than most". 

The rest was easier. Coran talked, telling Shiro about the castle, magic and Allura. Once Shiro heard a story about the time that Queen Allura got stuck in a tree and cried until her father managed to get her down and then proceeded to climb the same tree again just to prove that she could, he could relax. It was strange to sit in Fae castle where an eccentric man healed him with magic and herbal remedies and still feel so normal. But it did and before he knew it Shiro was actively talking and laughing with Coran. He had a strange sense of humor but he was good company. 

It didn't take long for Coran to finish and wrap some support around his chest. 

”Few days of rest and you'll be good as new!” 

”Thank you”, Shiro said with a warm smile. Talking with Coran had been helpful, even when it was just mindless chatter and while he was tired to the bone the pain was mostly gone. Allura sat in a hallway outside the room, three mice in her lap. She startled when they came out and Shiro wondered if she had been about to fall asleep. The relief on her face made Shiro smile. 

For the first time in months, he falls asleep right away as he sinks into the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise bitch
> 
> lmao sorry for the wait

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, this is my first fic ever so feedback is appreciated! Also sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language so this is probably full of mistakes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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